Self-reflection: Take some time to reflect on your own feelings, thoughts, and reasons for considering an abortion. Understand your own emotions and motivations so that you can express them clearly to your partner(s). See the section above on talking about abortion with yourself for more on this.

Choose the right time and place: Find a quiet and comfortable environment where you can have an open and private conversation. Choose a time when all parties involved are calm and available to engage in a meaningful discussion. You don’t want to spring this on them when they are at work, for example.

Plan your approach: Think about the best way to approach the conversation. Consider your partner(s) communication style and any potential concerns or sensitivities they may have. Writing down your thoughts in advance may be helpful to ensure you convey your message clearly.

Express your emotions: Start the conversation by sharing your emotions. Be honest and open about your thoughts, fears, and concerns. This will set the tone for an open and supportive discussion. Communicate clearly to your partner(s) that they will have time to express their emotions when you are finished communicating your needs.

Clearly state your decision: Once you've expressed your emotions, clearly state your decision to have an abortion. Use "I" statements to express your own desires and needs, such as "I have made the decision to have an abortion because..." or "I feel it is the best choice for me because..."

Provide factual information: Offer factual information about the abortion procedure, including the medical aspects and any ways you need them (picking you up after a surgical abortion, for example). Share resources or references that can help both you and your partner(s) better understand the process. For the abortion process, visit the Accessing Abortion page.

Encourage their perspective: Give your partner(s) the opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings. Be prepared to listen without interruption or judgment. Validate their emotions and create a safe space for them to share openly. Understand that they may also need space to understand their emotions before they can communicate them. And remember that whatever their emotions, your choice about your body is entirely your call.

Discuss options and explore feelings: Engage in a conversation about the options available, such as parenting, adoption, or co-parenting, if relevant. However, remain focused on your own decision and reiterate your reasons for choosing abortion.

Seek support together: If both you and your partner(s) feel comfortable, discuss seeking emotional support during this time. This may include involving a counsellor, therapist, or trusted friends/family members who can provide guidance and support.

Decision-making process: If your partner(s) are supportive, involve them in the decision-making process regarding the practical aspects of the abortion, such as scheduling appointments, considering financial aspects, or organizing any necessary arrangements.

Reassurance and reaffirmation: Reassure your partner(s) that your decision does not diminish your feelings for them or your commitment to the relationship (if applicable). Emphasize that you value their support and that you are open to continuing communication as you both navigate this experience.

Develop a birth control plan: Find a birth control plan that works for everyone. If using condoms, make sure the feel and fit are right for you. If taking hormonal pills, maybe have your partner(s) remind you to take them every day. There are many options to explore together.

Remember, each conversation will be unique, and it's essential to be compassionate, understanding, and patient with each other's emotions and reactions. It’s okay to pause the conversation if any person needs space to think and regroup when everyone is calm.