With Your Kids
Many people who have abortions already have children. Talking openly about abortion with your kids breaks down the stigma around abortion your kids grow up with and the stigma you hold through your upbringing and identity as a parent. Talking about abortion will help your children make their own choices when they start experimenting with sex and/or supporting their partner(s) and friends during an unplanned pregnancy.
Consider their age and understanding: Start by considering the age and maturity level of your children. Tailor the conversation to their developmental stage, ensuring that the information shared is appropriate and understandable.
Choose an appropriate time and place: Find a quiet and comfortable environment where you can have a private conversation with your kids. Choose a time when everyone is calm and available to engage in a meaningful discussion.
Be honest and straightforward: When talking to your kids about your abortion, be honest and straightforward. Use age-appropriate language and explanations to help them grasp the concept. It's essential to communicate in a clear and concise manner, avoiding complex medical terminology.
Share your emotions and reasons: Express your emotions and reasons for having the abortion in a way that your kids can understand. Use simple and relatable language to help them empathize with your feelings. For example, you can say, “I had to make a difficult decision because we weren't ready to have another baby, and it's important to make choices that are best for our family."
Assure them it's not their fault: Reassure your kids that your decision has nothing to do with them. Let them know that they are loved and valued and that your choice is about what is best for the whole family.
Use age-appropriate explanations: Tailor your explanations to the age of your children. Younger children may need simpler explanations, such as "My body wasn't ready for another baby." Older children may have a better understanding of reproduction and may benefit from a more detailed explanation.
Encourage questions and provide reassurance: Allow your children to ask questions and express their feelings. Provide reassurance that it's okay to feel confused or upset, and let them know that you are there to support and answer their questions.
Address their concerns: Your children may have concerns or fears about abortion. Take the time to address these concerns and provide reassurance. Let them know that you are taking care of yourself and that you have made the best decision.
Emphasize love and support: Reinforce that your love for your children remains unchanged. Assure them that your decision was made out of love and consideration for the family's well-being. Reiterate that you are always there for them, and they can come to you with any questions or concerns.